Wingman
by show-me-your-tardis
Summary: After Vega takes the boys out on a lads night, they don't all come back alone. Shepard is forced to confront her lingering feelings for Garrus. It turns out, Vega makes an excellent wingman, though not in the way Shepard expected.


Shepard prided herself on knowing everyone on her ship. Not only did she know her main crew, she knew the names of all the various Alliance crew members that kept her ship in top shape. She knew everyone from Ashta to Zainab, and no one boarded or departed her ship without her knowing.

Which is why she was rightfully confused when the lift dinged, and a female turian stepped into the CIC. Shepard stared, mouth hanging open. The turian stared back at her with open hostility, the dark green paint on her face made her look aggressive. The two of them looked at each other for a long moment, before the turian turned and left the ship without a single word.

"Traynor." Shepard said, watching the doors close, "Why did an angry turian just walk through my ship?"

"The boys went out last night." Traynor said, as though that explained everything.

Shepard turned back to the galaxy map. Instead of continuing to plan their next step after shore leave, she stared at the glittering swirls of the galaxy. She tried to make sense of Traynor's explanation, and what the hell that had to do with the turian. Whether it was the lack of sleep she'd had recently, or just her being stupid, she still didn't get it.

"What does that have to do with anything?" Shepard asked, resting her hands against the rail around the map.

Traynor glanced at her, "There's a war on."

"Yes, I'm aware." Shepard said.

"Right, so, the guys wanted some _stress relief..._ " Traynor's eyes widened as she spoke, and she nodded her head slightly like she was hinting at something. Shepard stared back at her, her brow knitted in confusion. Traynor shook her head, one corner of her mouth lifting into a smile, "Think about it."

Shepard turned back to the map. The female turian was the least of her concerns. She had bigger problems right now, like the reapers currently ravaging the galaxy.

Still, even as she thought about all the planets left to be attacked, her thoughts kept returning to Traynor's _stress relief_ comment. All Shepard knew was that Vega had taken the guys out to Purgatory last night, and now there were turian females glaring at her on her own ship.

She stepped down from the map, leaving her planning for later. They still had at least one day left of shore leave, she had time to plan later. She grabbed the cup of steaming coffee off her terminal.

Just as she took a sip, an unfamiliar voice sounded behind her, "Oh my god! It's really her! It's her!"

Shepard turned around, and arched an eyebrow at Vega and the strange woman exiting the lift. Vega was whispering something to the woman, but the woman was ignoring him and grinning widely at Shepard. She was dressed in the shortest dress Shepard had ever seen, and her make up was slightly smeared.

All at once Shepard realised why this woman was here. She and Vega had hooked up. Which also explained the turian. A feeling of dread washed over Shepard, and she gripped her coffee mug tighter.

"Vega?" She asked, trying to act calm.

"Hey Lola, uh..." Vega ushered the woman towards the door, muttering something to her. Shepard only caught the words _autograph_ and _later._

Once the barely dressed woman was out of view, Vega spun back to face Shepard. He grinned at her, and shot a quick wink at Traynor. Shepard lowered her mug to the terminal, and pursed her lips. His grin turned from proud to sheepish.

"So, we're on shore leave for another day, right?" Vega asked.

"Yes." Shepard said.

"Good, I'll just be-"

"Vega." Shepard said, stopping Vega before he could escape, "Care to explain?"

"You know what happens on a night out, Lola."

"And you brought it onto my ship?" Shepard asked, crossing her arms across her chest.

Vega shrugged, "Her place wasn't nearly as impressive."

With that, Vega turned and left the ship before Shepard could catch him and strangle him. She wasn't sure what she was more angry about: Vega bringing his booty-call aboard, Garrus apparently taking a leaf out of Vega's book, or the fact that Shepard herself hadn't sex since... well, since before the Collector Base.

She settled for being irritated by all three facts equally.

She turned back to her terminal and downed the remainder of her coffee in one go, burning the length of her throat. As she read her emails, she muttered angrily to herself. Here she was fighting a war, and the boys of her ship were having the times of their lives. Stupid Garrus with his turian girls who were biologically suited to him.

They didn't have to take two different pills just to have sex with him.

She smacked at the terminal keys a bit too angrily, making Traynor stare at her with wide-eyes.

"I didn't know you were so opposed to Vega getting laid." Traynor said.

"I'm not, I just..." Shepard had no way to explain why she was so upset.

She could tell Traynor about her and Garrus's night before the Collector Base, but that would involve explaining rather personal facts, and also reminding herself of how Garrus hadn't so much as mentioned that night since. She didn't fancy thinking about how little she meant to Garrus.

"Who went on this night out?" Shepard asked.

"Um, I don't know exactly. I only knew it was happening through Cortez." Traynor said, turning back to her own terminal.

"Right." Shepard said.

She managed to stay at her terminal for a whole two minutes, before marching to the lift and heading down to the shuttle bay.

– – –

Cortez had an unnatural ability to sleep while standing up. When Shepard made it to the shuttle bay, she found him stood near the back of a shuttle, asleep by an open panel. She walked up to him, and waited for him to shift, or wake up, or something. He didn't though, he just stood there, leaning slightly to one side, eyes shut.

"Cortez?" Shepard asked, gently tapping his shoulder.

When he didn't even shift, she tapped him harder. He jerked awake, his eyes shot open. Immediately, he let out a groan and rubbed his temples. He squinted into the light, and looked at Shepard as though trying to figure out who she was.

"Good night?" Shepard asked.

"Vega likes his tequila." Cortez said. He rubbed his eyes and leaned back against the shuttle.

Shepard smiled and leaned her hip against the guardrail behind her. She folded her arms in front of her, and asked, "Details?"

"Honestly, I don't remember a lot of it." Cortez admitted with an embarrassed smile, "There was tequila, and laughing, and... Joker really hates dancing."

"Joker went?" Shepard asked.

Cortez nodded, "Yeah, EDI didn't want him to, but Vega pretty much dragged him out."

"Who else went?" Shepard asked, even though she knew the answer. Even though she'd seen Garrus's _date_ leaving the ship this morning, she still had to hear it.

"There was me, Vega, Joker, and Garrus." Cortez let out a short laugh and looked at the ground, lost in thought. He was clearly remembering something funny, and Shepard waited for him to share.

When he didn't, she pressed, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." Cortez said, still smiling at his memory, "It's just... Garrus really has a way with women, you know?"

Shepard clenched her teeth so hard she was grinding them to dust. She forced a smile, and nodded, gesturing for Cortez to continue. If he could tell how pissed off Shepard was, he didn't acknowledge it, he just shook his head fondly.

"I thought it'd be Vega getting all the attention. Can't say he was too pleased to discover the _turian_ was the most attractive one of us." Cortez laughed.

Shepard forced a laugh, but inside she was trying to decide whether to be saddened or angered by this revelation. So Garrus was good at getting women, great. Shepard wasn't going to let that bother her. Her and Garrus had had one night together, it didn't mean anything. They were friends – best friends – nothing more.

She would just get over Garrus. If anything, this whole thing would help her move on. She had to focus on the war, and her crush on Garrus was just a distraction.

"Uh, Shepard?" Cortez asked.

"Yeah?" Shepard asked, snapping out of her thoughts.

"Do you mind if I go back to sleep now?" Cortez asked.

"Sweet dreams." Shepard smiled.

– – –

When Shepard got near the flight deck, a high-pitched screeching assaulted her ears. She grimaced and pressed her hands to her ears, muffling the sound just enough to bare. She jogged into the room, and found Joker with his hands to his ears, and EDI acting completely oblivious to the sound.

Shepard nudged Joker's shoulder, and he jumped when he saw her. He hadn't heard her arrive. He spun his chair around, scowling at EDI.

"HEY COMMANDER!" Joker shouted over the noise, "HOW'S IT GOING?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT NOISE!" Shepard shouted back.

As soon as the words left her mouth, the noise ceased. Shepard clicked her fingers near her left ear to check she hadn't just gone deaf. She hadn't, thankfully, and she asked again, "What the hell was that?"

"I'm sorry, Commander. I was punishing Jeff." EDI said, spinning her chair around too. She folded her arms across her chest, and frowned at Joker. She really had the whole angry-girlfriend look down. Shepard was suddenly glad she was in EDI's good books.

"I said I was sorry." Joker pouted.

"I do not recall you apologising, Jeff." EDI said.

"Fine! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I went out and had fun." Joker said.

"Your apology is not sincere, Jeff." EDI said.

The noise started up again. Shepard and Joker rushed to cover their ears. There was a flashing light on EDI's shoulder, and Shepard realised the noise wasn't coming from the ship, it was coming from EDI herself. She had weaponised herself against her boyfriend. Shepard momentarily thought about copying EDI, and punishing Garrus in a similar fashion.

"EDI!" Shepard shouted.

The noise stopped again, "Sorry, Commander."

Shepard removed her hands from her ears, "What's going on here?"

"I'm hungover, EDI's mad." Joker said.

"Why are you mad, EDI?" Shepard asked quickly, before EDI had a chance to start up the noise again.

"Jeff went out last night, and he did not invite me." EDI said, pouting her metallic lips.

Joker leaned back in his chair and shut his eyes. He looked like he'd been having this discussion all morning. Shepard felt bad for him. Then she remembered that he'd stood idly by, while Garrus hit on turian women. Vega and Cortez she could forgive, they hadn't been on her ship when she was with Cerberus. But Joker had, Joker knew about her and Garrus.

She narrowed her eyes at him, "You deserve it, Joker."

"What!" Joker asked, eyes shooting open, "It was guys only."

Shepard turned to EDI, "It's okay EDI, we'll have a girl's night. We'll drink wine and complain about the guys."

"That would be fun, Shepard." EDI said, "I have a lot of complaints about Jeff."

"Hey!" Joker cried indignantly.

Shepard smiled, and EDI spun her chair back around to the controls, even though the ship was docked. Joker mouthed the word _thanks_ to Shepard and frowned at her. Shepard would have felt bad, if she could forget about Garrus and that turian, but she couldn't, so Joker would just have to deal. It wasn't her who had let Garrus get drunk and have sex with someone else, was it?

"How was last night, then?" Shepard asked.

"I can't even say tequila without..." Joker shuddered, "Without wanting to throw up."

"I hear you refused to dance." Shepard said.

"Who told you that? Was it Garrus? Because I have stories on him that will make you..." Joker trailed off, and his eyes widened ever so slightly. He cleared his throat and settled back in his chair. With a tentative smile he said, "Last night was fun."

"What happened?" Shepard asked, all remnants of her smile disappeared. What the hell had Garrus done last night? Just how many women had he had sex with? Had the turian woman Shepard had seen this morning been just the beginning?

"You know, I don't really remember. It's all blurry and I spent a lot of the night throwing up." Joker wouldn't even look at her, and Shepard could tell he was lying. She could also tell she wasn't going to get anything else out of him.

She stifled her sigh, and realised there was only one person left on her ship who could clear up what Garrus had done last night, and that was the man himself. Or... she could go find Vega's booty-call's house and see if he could explain everything. But was she really that desperate?

"We're on shore leave for a while, right?" Joker asked.

"Yeah." Shepard said.

"Good, I don't think my stomach could handle a mass relay right now." Joker muttered, spinning his chair to face EDI. The AI didn't acknowledge him.

"Don't throw up on my ship, Joker." Shepard warned, walking away from the flight deck. As she left, she was sure she heard the high pitched noise start up again, followed quickly by a stream of apologies from Joker.

– – –

Garrus was in the midst of – surprise, surprise – calibrations, when Shepard walked in. She was already scowling when she got to the room, and she quickly tried to relax her face. She couldn't quite manage a smile, but hopefully she didn't look too terrifying. He stopped humming when he heard the doors open.

"Ah, Shepard." He said, turning to face her, mandibles flaring in a smile, "What brings you down here?"

"It's come to my attention that a lot of my crew is hungover, I wanted to check on you." Shepard said, which wasn't a complete lie.

"I'm hard to kill, you should know that." Garrus said.

"Did you have fun?" Shepard asked, forcing the words through clenched teeth.

Garrus was happy, Garrus was happy enough to hum. He was practically gleaming from an after-sex glow. God, she was so pissed off. She felt sorry for the next merc that got in her way. She felt sorry for Garrus actually. The next mission they were on together, might end with her gun _accidentally_ firing in his direction.

She shook herself. She was thinking about shooting her own crew! This was insane. She was not the jealous type. What had happened to her?

The answer was stood in front of her, telling some story that she hadn't been listening to. She quickly focused on his words, and nodded, pretending she had heard everything.

"...and then Vega gave me one hundred credits. I can get used to the nickname if he's going to continue paying me." Garrus laughed. Shepard let out a laugh too, though she wasn't sure what she was laughing at.

"Okay, well, I should go." Shepard spun on her heels and marched to the door. If she stayed here for another second she'd say something she would regret. Like, _hey Garrus, you know that turian you fucked on my ship, was she better than me?_

"Uh, Shepard?" Garrus called, but Shepard was already marching down the catwalk towards the kitchens.

She had to get away from Garrus, all she could think about were his talons on her skin, and his head between her thighs. Each time she remembered what it felt like to be underneath him, she thought of the turian female. Had he stroked his mandibles down her neck like he had with Shepard? Had he moaned her name like he'd moaned Shepard's?

There were footsteps behind her, and then Garrus's hand caught her arm. He tugged on her arm, and she reluctantly turned to face him.

"Since we're on shore leave for a while, I was wondering if you wanted to do something?" Garrus asked. When Shepard just stared at him, Garrus's mandibles twitched nervously, "Like sushi? Or we could drink? It's the morning, but if anyone can start drinking this early it's Commander Shepard."

"I can't drink!" Shepard snapped, a sudden rush of anger flared inside her, "I don't know if you've noticed this, Vakarian, but there's a war on!"

Garrus dropped her arm like he'd been burned, he took a step back and said, "I know that Shepard. I figured you could use a break."

"We can't all relax whenever we want to, you know!" Shepard shouted.

The indignant fury that had been building, since she'd seen the turian, was all coming out at once. She couldn't stop herself from shouting. Her mouth was running away with her, and she kind of wanted Joker to fly the ship into the nearest star just to shut her up.

"We can't all spend the whole night drinking with our friends. Some of us have actual work to do in this war! Some of us have to save the stupid galaxy, and we can't spend the night with a stranger!"

Garrus's mandibles pressed tight against his face. His face changed from shocked and confused to annoyed, "Is _that_ what this is about?"

"What what is about?" Shepard asked.

"It's okay for you, but not for me?" Garrus asked, his voice dangerously low.

"What?" Shepard hissed.

"What is going on here?" Liara's voice interrupted whatever Garrus was about to say, and he shut his mouth quickly. Liara ran up to the catwalk and joined them. After a furtive glance at the Alliance crew members that were watching the Commander lose her mind, she said, "What is this about?"

"Nothing." Shepard said, clenching her fist so tightly, her nails dug into her palm.

Liara looked between Shepard and Garrus, and Shepard avoided her gaze. She shifted her weight from foot to foot, and crossed her arms across her chest. Garrus was staring at her too, but she couldn't read his expression. It didn't take a genius to figure out he was probably upset though. When your best friend screams at you for seemingly no reason, being upset is a perfectly reasonable response.

"Shepard-"

Liara didn't get to finish before Shepard stormed away. She was so angry. But more than that, she was guilty. She had snapped at Garrus for no reason. She didn't own him. They had one night together, and she was acting like he'd asked for a divorce. He could sleep with whoever he wanted, and... and so could she.

She needed to find Vega.

– – –

"I need a favour." Shepard said.

After hiding out in the war room, and watching the clock slowly tick it's way to the evening, Shepard had finally left her ship. The rest of her crew had left a while ago, to make the most of their last day of shore leave. Shepard had rejected Tali's invite to the markets, telling her she was too busy with planning to relax.

When she'd finally decided it was safe to leave without accidentally bumping into Garrus, Shepard had headed straight for Bailey's office. After a quick outfit change, of course.

"Nice to see you too, Shepard." Bailey said, gesturing to the space next to him on the sofa. He wasn't behind his desk like usual. He was sat on his sofa, reading a data pad, but he switched it off when Shepard sat down.

"Sorry, bad day." Shepard said, "How's the job treating you?"

"Not as bad as the war's treating you, I'd bet." Bailey said.

"I've been worse." Shepard said, waving her hand dismissively.

"So, this favour you need?" Bailey asked.

Shepard opened her omnitool, "I need to find someone."

"Is this a good someone, or a bad someone?" Bailey asked.

"She's... neutral." Shepard said.

She located the CCTV footage she had swiped from the Normandy earlier and flicked it at Bailey's arm. His omnitool lit up, and he opened the file Shepard had just sent him. From where she sat, Shepard could see Vega and the woman clearly. It was a snippet of footage from this morning, of the woman and Vega exiting the lift.

"Which one?" Bailey asked.

"The woman, do you recognise her?" Shepard asked.

"I don't. But I can just..." Bailey typed out a command code on his omnitool, and the screen flickered. Instantly numbers and letters began to appear and disappear on the screen. After a few seconds, only one remained, flashing on the screen: 18C.

Bailey shut down his omnitool, "She lives in apartment 18C."

"Thanks, Bailey." Shepard said.

"Are you going to tell me why you need her?" Bailey asked, when Shepard stood up and headed for the door.

"It's... kind of personal." Shepard said.

"Hey, don't worry. You don't have to tell me." Bailey said, holding his hands up in a placating gesture, "I'm just glad you're not dead yet."

"Me too." Shepard smiled.

– – –

Vega answered the door after the third time Shepard knocked. He was shiny with sweat, panting slightly, and dressed only in Alliance-blue boxer briefs. Shepard kept her eyes on his eyes, and ignored the strange curiosity that made her want to admire his body. He looked at her expectantly.

"Is there a mission?" He asked, stretching up and leaning his hands on the top of the door jamb.

"No, I..." Now that she was here, Shepard realised how mad she was being. She almost lost her nerve, but then she remembered Garrus and the turian, and she clenched her teeth with determination, "Do you want to get a drink?"

"What? Lola, I'm a little busy here." Vega said, jerking his hand back in the direction of the apartment.

"Forget it." Shepard said.

"No, no, wait." Vega said, he glanced back into the apartment, "Listen, give me ten minutes. I'll meet you in Purgatory."

"Ten minutes?" Shepard asked with a smirk, "That all?"

"Hey, watch it, Lola." Vega warned. He shot her a wink, and then disappeared into the apartment, shutting the door behind him.

– – –

Ten minutes had came and went, and Shepard was on her third drink, alone. Her plan had been flawless. She was going to get Vega's recap of last night, and then, if she was drunk enough, ask him to help her get laid. She wasn't going to sleep with Vega, of course. She wasn't _that_ upset.

But truthfully, it had been a long time since she'd hit on anyone. She figured she could use some help.

She downed the rest of her drink. It was bubblegum pink, but tasted like cinnamon. Shepard couldn't even pronounce the name of it, and it had filled her with a pleasant tipsy feeling. Purgatory was full, as usual, and the music seemed extra loud tonight. Shepard looked out at the dancers, and the groups of people surrounding her, laughing and joking. Vega was nowhere to be seen.

She sighed, he'd obviously had better things to be do than spend time with his heartbroken Commander. Shepard paid her bill, nodding her thanks to the bartender, and stood up. She neatened her dress, and headed for the door.

Shepard decided to look for Tali. If anything, her and Tali could watch the most recent episode of _Fleet and Flotilla_ and Shepard could bitch about Garrus. Hell, she might as well find EDI and Liara too and have that girls' night she had described before.

When she reached the door, she was so busy thinking about the bottles of rosé in her cabin, that she didn't see the turian until it was too late. She crashed straight into the armoured female, and had to grab the turian's arm to stop herself from falling. Maybe that alcohol had been stronger than it tasted.

"I'm sorry, I..." Shepard trailed off when she looked at the turian's face.

It was her. The one from her ship this morning. Shepard recognised the dark green paint markings on her face. It was Garrus's booty-call. A mixture of anger and humiliation flooded Shepard's chest, but she somehow managed to keep a professional look on her face. She stood up straighter, mentally reminding herself that she had saved the galaxy twice, she could talk to this turian.

Still, the strange urge to smash her face into the wall welled up inside Shepard. It was just the alcohol, she told herself. If she was sober she would never think about attacking an innocent woman... right?

"Commander Shepard." The turian said, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly.

"You were on my ship this morning." Shepard said, the words sounded a lot like an accusation.

"I was." The turian said. There was an awkward moment of silence, before the turian stretched out a hand, "My name is Velvia."

 _Velvia,_ Shepard thought with disgust. Of course it was. It just rolled right off the , Garrus's voice appeared in her head, _Velvia._

Shepard forced herself to shake Velvia's hand. She was the saviour of the galaxy, she couldn't be rude to this woman just because Garrus had had sex with her. If she was seen being the world's biggest bitch to a seemingly innocent turian, the media would go wild with it. She could picture the headlines, _Commander Shepard Wages War on Turians – Forgets About Reapers._

"I'm surprised actually." Velvia said, letting go of Shepard's hand.

"At what?" Shepard asked.

The music from Purgatory was muffled behind the closed doors, but Shepard still had to speak louder than usual. A group of asari walked past Shepard and Velvia, and entered the club. Shepard kept a keen eye out for Vega, hoping he showed up soon, before Shepard pushed this turian over the balcony.

"At how relaxed the security is on your ship." Velvia said, her mandibles flaring out in what Shepard interpreted as a smug smirk, "The most important starship in this battle, and yet, your crew just allowed me to walk on."

"Are you saying you aren't to be trusted?" Shepard asked. She settled into parade rest, just so she could physically restrain her hands without being too obvious. Velvia was making things personal now. It was one thing to fuck Garrus, but to insult Shepard's ship and crew was a whole different thing.

"I'm saying, you must trust your crew a lot." Velvia said, she tilted her head slightly. Shepard got the feeling she meant more than she was saying.

"Of course I trust them." Shepard said, forcing a smile, "If you can't trust the people you fight with, who can you trust?"

"Yes. Quite true." Velvia said. Her eyes were searching Shepard's face. What she was looking for was unclear, and whether she found it or not, Shepard couldn't tell. Either way, Velvia's mandibles pressed close to her face, "You are close with them?"

"Yes." Shepard said, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. What was she getting at?

Velvia nodded and hummed, " _Very_ close."

"Excuse me?" Shepard asked.

"It was lovely seeing your ship, Commander. I wish you luck in the war." Velvia said, but it didn't sound sincere. With that, Velvia shoved past Shepard, sending a shock of pain through her shoulder, and marched into Purgatory.

Shepard rubbed her shoulder, and watched Velvia disappear into the club. She shook her head, and stretched out her arm, wincing when her shoulder joint ached.

"You sure know how to pick 'em, Garrus."

"Lola, you weren't leaving, were you?" Vega called, jogging from the lift towards Shepard. She let go of her shoulder, and waited for him to catch up to her. He grinned, "Sorry, I'm late. Things... got interesting."

"Ew." Shepard said, her lips quirking up into a smile.

Vega placed a hand on the top of her arm and pushed her back to face Purgatory. She allowed herself to be lead back into the club, keeping a sharp eye out for Velvia. She was the last thing Shepard wanted to see.

Vega located two stools by the bar and ordered two shots of tequila. Shepard grimaced at the drinks.

"What? You don't do tequila?" Vega asked.

"Aren't you sick of this yet? From what I hear, you were on it all night." Shepard said.

"You've been investigating, huh? What else did you hear about last night?" Vega asked, downing his shot and ordering a top up.

"Joker won't dance, but he will throw up. Cortez hates tequila. And..." Shepard frowned, "Garrus gets all the girls."

"I was as shocked as you are." Vega said, shaking his head. He looked thoughtful for a moment, "Chicks dig scars."

"I think it's more than that." Shepard said.

It was partly the scars, that was true. But it was everything else as well, it was the way he carried himself, a slight swagger in his walk. It was his sense of humour, and his laugh. And god, that voice. It was just everything about him, the C-Sec Officer turned war hero. He was her best friend, and she was in love with him.

"Uh, earth to Lola?" Vega asked, clicking his fingers in her face.

Shepard snapped back to reality, a rush of heat flooded her cheeks. This was getting ridiculous, she couldn't keep track of her feelings anymore. One minute she was furious at Garrus, and planning to shoot him. The next she was thinking about the way he laughed, and remembering his hot breath on her shoulder.

She downed her shot, feeling it burn it's way to her stomach. Vega whooped and ordered another one.

"What is this about?" Vega asked.

"What do you mean?" She asked, fiddling with her empty shot glass.

She glanced up, just in time to see a group of women glaring at her with jealousy. She realised how close she was to Vega. They had to lean in to talk, and the women were probably getting the wrong idea about them.

Vega saw them too, and he shot them a wink. When they looked away giggling, Vega angled to face Shepard, his knee touching her thigh, "There are only two reasons someone invites you for a drink. One, they want to get laid. Or two, they want to get laid, by you."

Vega leaned even closer, his breath ghosting her ear, "So which is it, Lola?"

Shepard shoved Vega away forcefully. He laughed, and caught himself just before he slipped off his bar stool. Shepard laughed too, shaking her head in fond exasperation. She finished her second shot. She wasn't sure her biotics could burn off this much alcohol, this fast. This was emphasized by the way Purgatory was spinning slightly.

Vega ordered another round, "Just speaking from experience."

"I just wanted to drink." Shepard said.

"You wanna drink? Fine by me. I'll enjoy beating you at something." Vega said.

"You think you can beat me? _You?_ Have you just not paid attention for the past few months. I'm Commander Shepard, I am unbeatable." Shepard boasted.

"At fighting reapers, maybe. But this is drinking. And no one does that better than me." Vega said.

He gestured for the bartender and when he came over, Vega leaned over the bar and said something in an undertone. Shepard didn't catch what he said, but the bartender shot her a glance and then nodded. He walked off down the bar.

Vega winked at Shepard, and the bartender reappeared with twelve glasses. Shepard suddenly realised she'd made a huge mistake. The bartender filled the glasses with an array of colours. Red, blue, green and purple, black with silver sparkles. Shepard stared at the drinks, as did a few other patrons at the bar.

When the bartender had filled all the glasses, Vega handed him his credit chit.

He held his hand out to the glasses, "Ever played russian roulette?"

"Can't say I have." Shepard said.

"Really? I figured you of all people would have." Vega shrugged, "This doesn't involve holding a gun to your head, but it's just as fatal."

Shepard looked at him skeptically, "As fatal as a bullet to the brain?"

"Let's see what you think tomorrow. Take your pick." Vega said.

Shepard looked at the twelve glasses in front of her. None of them particular appealed to her. It was easier to rule them out. Immediately she crossed off the Cerberus yellow one. The black one with silver glitter smelt like licorice, so she ruled that one out. The red one looked deadly, and the green and purple one looked gross. Eventually, she ended up with the paler blue one.

She selected it and Vega raised his eyebrows at her. A nervous flutter filled her chest, but she couldn't back out now. Despite Vega's look of warning, she brought the glass to her lips, and drank it one long gulp.

It tasted like blueberries. If blueberries were made of fire. She gagged and put the glass down, shuddering as the alcohol burnt her throat. She covered her mouth with her hand, "Oh god."

"Ready to quit, yet?" Vega asked.

"Just pick a drink." Shepard ordered, grimacing.

Without hesitation, Vega picked up the red one and downed it, without so much as a cough. He grinned at her and stuck his tongue out. It was strained cherry red. She narrowed her eyes at him, this was war now. She grabbed the peach coloured one and downed it, holding back a gag.

Vega nodded his head in commendation, and took the black one. His top lip ended up sparkling slightly after the drink. Shepard took the other blue one, which was way nicer than the first. Vega had the yellow.

They kept going until there were only two left. One was gold, frothing slightly, and smelt like vanilla. The other was half blue and half pink. It smelt like the sea.

The entire Citadel was spinning around them, and Shepard could hardly hold her head up. Vega was laughing at everything, and occasionally grabbing Shepard's hand to stop from slipping from his chair. They were drunk, but they were both still awake. The game was still on, and there was one drink standing between Shepard and victory.

"You're going..." Shepard hiccuped, "You're going down, Vega. My biotics will, will burn this off soon and then you'll be sorry."

"Pssh, you're d-drunk Lola." Vega slurred.

Shepard gestured to the last two drinks. She overbalanced slightly, and almost knocked the golden drink to the floor, "Take your pick."

"Ladies first." Vega said, grinning widely.

"No, no, I insist." Shepard said.

"Fine, fine. You wanna play? Fine." Vega mumbled. He reached for the sea-scented, blue and pink one.

Shepard picked up the golden drink. Vega held his glass up to her, and she clinked hers against it. Vega and Shepard brought their glasses to their lips. Shepard froze. The scent of vanilla flooded her nose, but she ignored it. At the other end of the bar, she caught sight of Garrus. She was drunk, and everything was blurry, but she'd recognise him anywhere.

It was him. And he was talking to Velvia.

"Fuck." Shepard moaned. She lowered her glass to the bar, and frowned. She rested her chin in her hand and watched Garrus flirt.

Vega let out a woop and slammed his empty glass to the bar. He held his hand up for a triumphant high five but dropped it when he caught sight of Shepard's face. He nudged her arm but she didn't look at him. She just watched Garrus, feeling her momentary happiness drain away.

"Lola?" Vega asked, nudging her again.

He followed her gaze, but apparently didn't see what was wrong. Shepard shook herself. She grabbed her glass and downed it in one. Even the comforting vanilla flavour couldn't cheer her up. Dragging her eyes away from Garrus, she turned to look at Vega.

"What's up, Lola? Too much for you?" Vega asked. Every movement he made was exaggerated. He looked around the club, and caught sight of Garrus, "Hey! Scars is going for a second shot."

Shepard groaned. She shot another glance at Garrus and saw him shrug one shoulder at Velvia. Even from here Shepard could see the smile on his face. Maybe it was the alcohol, or Garrus's sudden appearance, but the next words out of Shepard's mouth came out in a sudden rush, "Help me get laid."

Vega eyes shot wide open, "What?"

"I'm enlisting you as a wingman." Shepard said, surprisingly coherent.

Vega looked at Shepard for a long moment. He glanced at Garrus, and then back at Shepard. A strange expression appeared on his face, but it was gone before Shepard's drunken mind could decipher it. He shrugged, and picked up the glass Shepard had unknowingly knocked over.

"I can help you with that." Vega said, "I'm a great wingman."

"Just to clarify, I don't need your _help._ I'm Commander Shepard, my name is my pick up line." Shepard said proudly.

"Sure. When was the last time you had sex?" Vega asked.

"That is so not appropriate!" Shepard said.

"Wow, that long? I figured with Kaidan back, you and he would have..." Vega made a crude gesture with his hands and Shepard whacked his shoulder.

"Kaidan and I ended long ago." Shepard said.

"Like before you died? You've not had sex since you died!" Vega said that last line a little too loud, and Shepard hid her face when a nearby asari looked at her. Vega chuckled and patted her hand, "Sorry."

"I have had sex since then! Jesus Vega, I came back to life over a year ago!" Shepard exclaimed.

"So who had you last? Who got the great Commander Shepard in bed?" Vega asked.

"He... he was just some guy." Shepard lied, "A nobody really."

"Okay, no problem. This place is full of nobodies." Vega said. He stood up, swayed slightly on the spot and held his hand out for her. When she accepted his hand, he helped her to her feet, and began pulling her to the dance floor, "I'm gonna help you out, Lola. I'm a great wingman, trust me."

– – –

After rejecting several men as not good enough, Vega finally allowed Shepard to approach one of them. He was even pickier than she was. Mostly because Shepard wasn't picky at all right now, she just wanted Garrus to see her hitting on some other guy. Every time she looked at him though, he was still talking to Velvia.

Shepard approached the guy she'd set her sights on, and he smiled when he saw her. He was all right, not exactly ugly. Human, blond, a little bland. He didn't have any scars, but he had a nice smile.

"A beautiful woman like you should not be dancing alone." He said, when Shepard got to him.

"I was hoping you could help me with that." Shepard said.

"I can do that." The man said, he stepped closer to her and held his hand out, "I'm Michael."

"Lola." Shepard lied, shaking Michael's hands.

Despite what she'd told Vega, telling people she was Commander Shepard didn't work out all that often. It went one of two ways, either they freaked out and fawned over her all night, or they got so flustered they abandoned her mid-sentence.

"Lola! There you are, I see you've found a friend." Vega's voice shouted above the pounding music. He stepped between Michael and Shepard, and held his hand out to Michael, "I'm Vega."

"Oh, uh, hey. I didn't realise you had a, uh..." Michael trailed off, pointing between Vega and Shepard.

Shepard shook her head, "Oh no, he's not my boyfriend."

"No, she's single." Vega said. He leaned down to Michael, who was considerably shorter than he was, to say, "Her last boyfriend's currently in hospital."

Vega let out a laugh, and Shepard's smile disappeared. Michael stammered something and glanced in fear at Shepard. She tried to think of some way to save this situation, but Michael spun around and stalked off before Shepard could even open her mouth.

Shepard glared at Vega, "Why did you do that?"

"What? It's true." Vega said innocently.

"You made it sound like I put him in there!" Shepard shouted. Thankfully the music kept her from being overheard. What was Vega doing? He was supposed to be good at this kind of thing!

"Oh, I did? I didn't realise." He punched Shepard's arm gently, "Hey, it's okay. Plenty of others around here."

"Unless you scare them off." Shepard muttered, following Vega back to the bar, scoping for another target.

– – –

"YOU'RE AWFUL AT THIS!" Shepard shouted when the fifth guy she'd hit on walked away.

Vega frowned and watched the most recent man disappear into the dancing crowd. He folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the bar. Shepard stood near him glaring at him. All she wanted was to show Garrus he wasn't the only one who could flirt. But so far, all she'd done was get ditched five times in a row, while Garrus was _still talking to Velvia._

What the hell could they be talking about for this long? When Shepard had last seen them, they'd been sat in a booth, lost in conversation. It had looked serious. Maybe they had been discussing which position to try next.

"I'm just telling them about you." Vega said, shrugging.

"I worked for Cerberus?" Shepard asked, ordering a strong drink and downing it as soon as it arrived.

"You did!" Vega said.

"Yeah, but it's not something I'm proud of." Shepard said. She drummed her fingers against the bar in frustration, "I fought a reaper on foot?"

"Again, you did!" Vega defended himself.

"Yeah I don't think guys are looking for girls that fight giant monsters on foot." Shepard grumbled.

"I told them about you saving the galaxy." Vega said innocently.

"You said I destroyed an entire species!" Shepard hissed.

"You kind of did." Vega shrugged, "I told them you cured the genophage."

"You said I helped the Krogan get laid." Shepard said.

"What? You did!"

"You are the _worst_ wingman to ever exist. I don't know why I thought you'd help! How the hell you got that woman to sleep with you is beyond me!" Shepard ranted.

She ran a hand through her hair angrily. The alcohol from her and Vega's roulette had left her system, and she wasn't as drunk as before. She still wasn't sober, but she could stand up without falling over, so she took it as a win. Vega nudged his shoulder into hers.

"Maybe it's you." Vega said.

"Maybe it is." Shepard muttered.

"No, Lola, come on. It's not you. You could have any guy you wanted." Vega said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"No, I can't." Shepard said. She pushed away from the bar, and Vega dropped his arm. She nodded her head to the exit, "I'm going back to the ship."

"You want me to come?" Vega asked, looking pitifully at her.

"Nah. Go get your Citadel piece, I'm sure she's missing you." Shepard said, grinning.

Vega grinned back, "This was fun, Lola. If you ever want to play roulette again, let me know."

"Will do." Shepard called, turning and heading down the stairs.

She didn't let herself look in Garrus's direction, even though she knew he was still there. There was something about being rejected by five men that had made her a little self conscious. So, she held her head high, and walked straight for the exit. At least this time, she knew she wouldn't bump into Velvia.

She stumbled slightly as she left Purgatory, and entered the lift. Before the doors had fully closed, a taloned hand stopped them. The doors reopened and Garrus stepped in. His mandibles flared in a smile at Shepard, and even though she was upset, she smiled back.

"Good night, Shepard?" Garrus asked, pressing the button for the docking bay.

"Vega likes to drink. _A lot._ " Shepard groaned.

"Yeah, he does." Garrus said.

An awkward silence stretched between them. Shepard hoped the lift would stop soon, before she remembered the taste of Garrus's skin. He looked at her, and she looked back, then they both glanced away quickly. Shepard thought bitterly about how awkward it was between them now. If she hadn't snapped at Garrus earlier, they could be talking like they used to.

The lift finally stopped and Shepard smiled a small smile at Garrus. Together they stepped out onto the docking bay and headed for the Normandy. The silence was still hanging over them, and Shepard desperately struggled for something to say.

Thankfully, she was saved from speaking by Garrus, "I thought you couldn't spend all night drinking with your friends."

Okay, maybe she wasn't so much as saved, as screwed. She clenched her hand into a fist, and focused on the Normandy. Not long to go now. Could she get away with just not answering? Pretending she hadn't heard?

No. She had to answer.

"Vega... he..." Shepard couldn't think of anything to say. She just knew she was going to blame Vega somehow.

"It's okay, Shepard. I shouldn't have asked." Garrus said. Shepard glanced at him, but he didn't look at her. He was staring straight forward, looking tense, "I crossed a line."

"What are you talking about?" Shepard asked.

Garrus just shook his head, and the two of them kept walking to the Normandy. They boarded the ship in silence. The ship was quiet and Shepard guessed the rest of her crew was sleeping. Shepard and Garrus waited for the lift to come to the CIC. She tapped her foot to distract herself, and Garrus drummed his talons against his armour.

The lift arrived, but before Shepard could enter, Garrus caught her arm. A jolt of electricity ran through her skin when he touched her. He pulled her to face him.

"I don't want things to be awkward between us, Shepard." Garrus said.

"I don't either." Shepard admitted.

"Let's just forget I, uh, asked you out then." Garrus said. Shepard was so stunned by his words that she couldn't form a reply. When had Garrus asked her out? What?

Garrus seemed oblivious to Shepard's confusion, "Don't tell Kaidan. It's nothing to worry about, I was just... It had been a rough night."

"A rough night?" Shepard asked.

She felt like she was only get half of the information she needed. First of all, what did Kaidan have to do with any of this? What had been so bad about Garrus's night? And most importantly, _Garrus had asked her out?_

"Jimmy said..." Garrus let out a breathy laugh, "I shouldn't have listened to him. You don't listen to Vega, everyone knows that."

"What did Vega say?" Shepard asked, knitting her brow in confusion. Was she still drunk? Or was Garrus just babbling?

Garrus sighed, like he really didn't want to say what he said next, "I... I still like you Shepard. I know you're back with Kaidan, and it's okay, I understand. The Collector Base was a suicide mission, and you needed... It's not important. Vega suggested I move on with another turian, but she wasn't, ah... that's not important. I didn't mean to upset you, I shouldn't have brought her aboard."

"What?" Shepard asked. It seemed she was asking that a lot more frequently recently. It must have been the alcohol in her system, but everything Garrus was saying just wasn't sinking in. Her brain was fixating on random words and not comprehending anything else.

Garrus ran a hand over his scarred mandible, "Can we just forget all of this? I acted like an idiot, and I'm sorry."

Shepard stared at Garrus, her brain chugging along miles behind her. Garrus looked uncomfortable. His mandibles were pressed close to his face, and he wouldn't maintain eye contact for longer than a second. She ran back over everything Garrus had just said, struggling to understand it. Until finally, she managed to ask:

"You like me?"

Garrus let out a breathy laugh, "It sounds so childish when you put it like that."

"I like you." Shepard confessed.

Garrus's eyes widened, and now it was his turn to take centuries to reply. He stared at her, with wide eyes and nervous, wringing hands. He opened his mouth, shut it, and then opened it again, "But... Kaidan?"

"No. He and I... just no." Shepard said, shaking her head.

"Oh. _Oh._ I thought..." Garrus trailed off.

"That turian, uh, Velvia. Did you and her?" Shepard asked.

"I ah, no. No, we didn't. She wanted to but I... all I could think about was you." Garrus admitted, looking at the ground in embarrassment.

"You were talking to her before." Shepard said.

"I was explaining... about you." Garrus said, he let out a quick laugh, "I owed her that."

Shepard's chest swelled. He hadn't had sex with Velvia! This explained why Velvia had been so bitchy to her. She had been rejected by a turian who was in love with a _human._ No wonder she was so rude.

Shepard wanted to jump up and down for joy, and had she been alone she probably would have done. Garrus liked her. This entire day had been some ridiculous, hormonal mistake. If she had just talked to Garrus, she could have saved herself from all of this hassle.

"So, what do we do now?" Garrus asked, "Should I kiss you?"

"A kiss is good." Shepard nodded. She made no effort to kiss Garrus though, instead she jabbed the lift button and added, "Or you could fuck me like it's our last night alive again."

"That's good too." Garrus said.

The two of them stood side-by-side until the lift dinged open. Garrus grabbed Shepard and lifted her off her feet. Shepard let out a bubble of laughter. Garrus pressed her against the wall of the lift, and she caught his mouth in a kiss. It had taken some getting used to kissing his mouth plates, but now she wouldn't give it up for anything else.

He propped her up on the handrail, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. His talons grazed her thigh, and she sighed against him, running her fingers along his fringe. He pulled his mouth away and pressed his forehead to hers.

"Last night alive? I can do that." Garrus growled, carrying Shepard out of the lift when it stopped.

She held onto his shoulders and he shoved her door open.

He stumbled down the stairs when she nibbled on the sensitive skin of his neck, almost sending them both to the floor. They made it to the bed and he dropped her rather suddenly. Before she could voice her shock, Garrus's mouth was on hers again. He climbed onto the bed, positioning himself between her legs.

His hands worked quickly and deftly, tugging the hem of her dress upwards. Shepard only stopped kissing Garrus long enough to yank the dress over her head. She unclasped her bra and launched it somewhere across the room. He dragged a talon down her chest and stomach, leaving a pink line on her skin. He followed the line with his tongue, and a moan escaped her lips.

Her hands fiddled with the clasps of his armour but nothing would come off. It hadn't been this hard the first time. He must have gotten new, Shepard-proof armour. He mouthed at her hip, but Shepard shoved him away before he could go any lower. He caught himself before he slipped off the bed.

"Shepa-"

"Armour off." Shepard ordered, interrupting Garrus's alarmed response.

"Patience, Shepard." Garrus said, a smirk tugging at his face.

"Patience?" Shepard asked incredulously. She was hot and breathy, and desperate. She tapped Garrus's leg with her foot, "You want _me_ to have patience?"

"You're right. Who am I kidding?" Garrus laughed.

He stood up off the bed and took off his visor. He worked quickly, and soon all of his armour was on the ground. Shepard leaned back on her elbows and enjoyed the view of naked Garrus. She admired the planes of his chest, and the long line of his waist. She thought about running her tongue over ever inch of him.

He looked back at her, a growl coming from his throat. She smiled, and ran her hands down her chest, pausing to play with her nipples. Garrus watched, and she noticed with delight, his groin plates were loosening. She rubbed her forefinger and thumb over one nipple, and ran her over hand down her body.

She reached the edge of her panties, and placed her hand over them. She rubbed against her vagina through her panties, and Garrus's growling increased. He watched wordlessly, as she slipped her fingers into her panties and found her clitoris.

She moaned, throwing her head back, her eyes closing as she pleasured herself. The bed compressed near her feet, and she looked up and found Garrus leaning over her. His hand ran down her arm, and joined hers between her thighs.

"That's my job, Shepard." Garrus said.

She removed her hand. He sliced through her panties with one quick motion. Garrus threw the torn fabric away and dragged Shepard's legs open. He found her clitoris, and rubbed with just enough pressure to make her thighs tighten around him. She wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, running her fingers along the sensitive underside of his fringe.

"Fuck me, Garrus." Shepard ordered. It wasn't the same voice she used on the battlefield, it was a lot more breathless, a lot more needy.

"We might die tomorrow, Shepard. I want to make the most of this." Garrus said. He pressed his mouth to her nipple, mandibles ghosting across her skin when she gasped.

"If you don't fuck me right now, Vakarian, I swear I will-"

Shepard was cut off when Garrus's guided his cock inside her. He paused when the head was inside, allowing her to adjust to him. She bit back a moan, and ran her hands down his chest. He moved further inside her, filling her up completely. She crossed her ankles behind him, holding him against her.

He leaned down, pressed his mouth to hers. She arched her hips upwards, and they got into a rhythm. It was fast, and hard, and everything Shepard had been needing since the Alliance had locked her up. She had been dreaming of this moment since the Collector Base, and it was so much better than she'd imagined.

Shepard's thighs were chafing against Garrus's rough skin, but it was only turning her on more. His teeth sunk into her shoulder and she cried out his name. He whispered hers into the space beneath her ear.

Every thrust brought her closer to the edge. Every moan and growl out of Garrus's mouth warmed her up inside. She was so close, already. It really had been a long time since she'd fucked anyone. She wrapped her arms around Garrus's shoulders, and he ran his tongue down her collarbones.

Shepard threw her head back against her pillow as her orgasm swept through her. Warmth flooded through her, right down to her toes. Her muscles contorted around Garrus, and he came shortly after, instinctively burying himself deeper insider her.

Together they panted and moaned, and whispered each other's names. They came down from their high at similar times, and Garrus collapsed against her.

He was warm and solid and she kept her legs wrapped tightly around him. He slid out of her and she kissed his forehead. A wave of exhaustion overtook Shepard, and she released Garrus. He settled next to her on the bed.

"If we both die tomorrow, at least we'll be satisfied." Shepard said, rolling over to face him.

"We've got all night, Shepard. Don't tell me your tired already." Garrus said, stroking her hair off her face.

"I'm just getting started, Vakarian." Shepard said, moving closer to Garrus and catching his mouth with hers.

– – –

Shepard yawned and hugged her coffee mug closer to her. She stared at her terminal, trying to gather the energy to open her emails. Traynor had told her she had three new messages about ten minutes ago, but Shepard had yet to open them. She was running on less than three hours sleep, and even caffeine wasn't helping her.

Getting the energy to get out of bed this morning had been difficult. Although, that could've had something to do with the cuddle-whore turian next to her. Garrus had eventually relinquished her, and Shepard had gotten dressed and staggered to the CIC, gently reminding herself she had to save the galaxy, and couldn't spend all day fucking her boyfriend.

No matter how much she wanted to.

Behind her, the doors to the Normandy breezed open. Shepard turned around, and watched Vega walk in, two to-go cups of coffee in his hands. He winked when he saw Shepard, and held out the cup for her. Shepard downed her first coffee in one go, and added a packet of sugar to the new one.

"How'd your night end up then, Lola?" Vega asked, walking backwards towards the lift.

His clothes were crumpled and he wore a very smug smile on his face. Shepard knew she wasn't the only one that had spent the whole night awake.

"Better than expected." Shepard said, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

"I'll bet." Vega said, stepping into the lift. He was smiling like he knew the world's biggest secret, and Shepard narrowed her eyes at him. He pressed the button for the shuttle bay, and smiled at her. As the doors closed, he shot her another wink, "Told you I was a great wingman."


End file.
